Ouch!!

OK, so my head HURTS!!! Not like a headache - it's the scalp, but sort of deeper in some way. The best I can describe it is like a bad sunburn. My remaining hair is really short - less than 1/2 inch. Any time it rubs on anything it s painful. I can see why some people just shave it off. I don't know why I don't. Probably because I am not equipped for it, I would have to go somewhere, and while I don't like the idea of sitting there in front of everyone getting shaved it's more just that I would have to GO somewhere. Anyway it's not that bad - why pay someone to do what will happen naturally soon enough? I have to have SOMETHING to bitch about, right? haha!

I went to the wig shop today and tried on a bunch of stuff. The people there were really nice. They went into business to help chemo patients although they are open to the public and do a lot of wigs for the local theater. They talked to me about what I had in mind and were very patient when I didn't really know. We tried on several colors and styles. It was funny how things I thought would be perfect looked really crappy on me, and vice versa! One blonde bob made me look like my brother! I was willing to try different colors (my pre-gray color was reddish brown) and figured what better time to try being a blonde, etc. Well, I now know that I am not a blonde because it is NOT my color! LOL! The lady even said there was no way she would let me walk out in that wig. heh. So we found one I really liked - almost shoulder length, brown with some blondish highlights. I would have bought it on the spot if the other lady hadn't brought out this other one. Same length but more layered and wavy. The color was brown with reddish highlights just like my original color. When I put it on it was totally ME! I tried them both on again and still this was THE ONE. LOL, I felt like I had just found THE PERFECT wedding dress. "Say Yes to the Wig" hahaha. So, in the end I had to ask her to hold it as I didn't have the credit card on me. They are expensive, about $300. From what I hear this is a fair price for a good quality wig and this brand is a good one. So I will go pick it up tomorrow.

I was so excited to find the right hair. The lady said several had tried it on and it just didn't look right on anyone else - I said because it was made for me!

In the meantime I've been wearing my super cool hand-decorated bandanna we did in Girl Scouts just before I found the lump. I knew it would come in handy! I think it creeps the kids out a bit to see me bareheaded. But since it's not all that comfortable to wear something all the time, they will have to get used to it.

I certainly have progressed a bit in how much I care what others think. In the beginning I wore J's big button down shirts because they didn't make it as obvious that I was missing a breast. I wouldn't even let the kids see me in a T-shirt. Well, for one thing I could not lift my arm high enough to put one on...but now I just don't care as long as I am comfortable. It's a fact of life. And you know what? No one has said a word! Now I can wear a bra without it being painful I do wear it out in public. I have not gotten a prosthesis - I made one using a knee-high pantyhose and a handful of cotton balls. Ha!! As long as no one looks TOO closely it looks fine! Who knew! :-)