Chemo

Tuesday I had chemo for the first time. I thought it wasn't so bad. I moved around in the room and read books and listened to my music. There were coffee and snacks. I found out there is wi-fi so I can bring the laptop next time. it was actually over before I knew it. It wasn't so bad, I thought.

Yesterday I felt pretty good too. I had to go back for a shot to stimulate more white blood cells since the chemo killed them all off. I am nervous because John and Andrew have some stomach bug and I have no white cells to fight it off. I am not good at fighting stuff off even on my best day, I always catch what the kids are passing around. But I felt OK and was up and around and even went to the grocery store. It's not that bad, I thought.

Today, I feel like total crap. All my bones ache. They told me that would happen because the shot is stimulating my bone marrow to make white blood cells. I feel like throwing up. My head is killing me and the kids are too loud even though they really aren't. I feel like there is no way I can do this 7 more times! I hope they're right that I will feel better tomorrow. Will I really have good days? I hope so.

Last night I was sort of freaking out wondering why I have to go through all of this. They said my PET scan is "clean". So do I really have to do this aggressive treatment? it's been explained to me several times and I still don't get it. I guess I really am in denial.

One down, 7 to go.