I was shocked this morning when the nurse brought my next baggie and said "here is your Benadryl". I don't know if I mentioned that I asked why I was getting Benadryl and he said I could try without it if I wanted - which I do. Well, apparently he didn't give them that memo. So it was no problem - they pulled it, and she said they wouldn't charge me for it. The lady next to me commented they should charge HIM for it. LOL.
Then a few minutes later the nurse mentioned "this is your Herceptin since you aren't getting Abraxane this time". Funny, the other ladies and I (we all have different doctors) had just been talking about the lack of communication from our doctors. I said, "WHAT!?" She explained that I do 3 weeks on and 1 week off. It is typical, and I actually knew that from reading the message board. But MY doctor had never mentioned it, and I assumed when he said I would do it weekly that I would do it, well, weekly.
So I just said, this better not mess up my end date. The poor nurse looked so upset. I am really sorry that anytime anything happens I let it out on her. I suppose she's used to it, but still. I asked if the doctor would be here today. She said yes, but not yet. I said well, I want him to call me.
As I was getting ready to go, she said he had come in but had a meeting first. Would I like to wait? Damn straight I would!
They put me in a room and I waited about an hour. Thank goodness for Kindle, and I am re-reading The Stand, so time actually passed fairly quickly.
About the Benadryl, he said the nurse hadn't asked him about it. What? Shouldn't HE tell them if there is a change in my orders? Well, since it isn't an official "change" I should have mentioned it to them. What the. Well, OK. Anyway I don't really care anymore. I still felt just as crappy without it, no better or worse. Though I will try again next week with the chemo and see. I just don't want to be taking anything that isn't really necessary.
About the chemo, he did apologize for not making it clear. it is 3 on and 1 off, but it's for a total number of WEEKS, not treatments. So I will still be done the week before Thanksgiving. Phew, he is lucky, because I was not going to stand still for that. :P
I also asked him about the blood test. Some of the other ladies were saying I should be getting it all along to check my cancer cell count. He says no, we expect it to be normal right now. I am on chemo "just in case", and the test doesn't detect "just in case" levels. We are not trying to shrink a tumor, which the other ladies are, in which case it is indicated to direct their treatment. They also do not have breast cancer. Each cancer is different and even BC is different, so many combinations I can't really compare them. Well, that's why I asked, and he understood. They do the test AFTER the chemo to get a baseline, then check me yearly or so to see if it changes.
So I still came home and went straight to bed even though I didn't do the Benadryl. I am getting up at around the same time I did last time, and in fact still don't feel as well. I don't know. Is Herceptin alone, this bad? I don't know about a year of it then! In fact I read that it is generally given for a year "or until side effects can no longer be tolerated". Hooray. For now I can't really determine which side effects are form Herceptin or chemo. Luckily I will be able to soon. Somme of the side effects are -
- physical changes in my nails - they are all stripey from side to side, and have stripes top to bottom that make it look like I scraped them on something (I didn't). If I push on them, they hurt. They are very hard and brittle. The skin around them is very dry and flaky. I keep biting the flakes off and making it worse. Need to keep up the lotion.
- mouth sores - not enough to use that nasty magic mouthwash, but enough so I notice. Ironically I didn't have them at all before.
- depression - or more just a general weepiness - I cry about everything and feel like crying over everything else. Again, I will not add to the cocktail by taking anything. Plus I tried a couple different kinds before and they were horrible. I'll live with it, thank you very much.
- My hair had been growing back in - thick and dark. It is almost 1/2 inch long and I was even waking up with "bed head" and having to use the baby hairbrush I got in my goodie bag back in the beginning. Well, it is falling out again, which I expected and am not really upset about.
- constantly running nose, every once in awhile getting all caked up and clogging me up. Annoying and gross.
- bone aches.
- Weight gain. Turns out it's not just the steroids I am no longer on. I am only to worry if I "gain more than 5 lbs in 24 hours". I am almost halfway to where I was last summer before I started losing, and my stomach is way poochier than even then. Good thing I still have my fat pants, Woo hoo.
All of these are completely normal.
I never got around to writing about all the supplements I am taking. They really helped me through the last dose of Adriamycin and the Taxol. I have gotten really bad about taking them, and feel worse. I can't help thinking there may be a connection, ha. I pledge to do better about taking them - starting tomorrow, since I still feel a bit too queasy to do it now.
6 more weeks.....
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