Thursday, April 12, 2012

Mammogram

I had my mammogram today. The lady remembered me from last year. I am torn between saying that was nice or scary. LOL!

Anyway, it was clean. The doctor set me up to have ultrasound on that side if indicated. Since it was clean, they didn't. She went to great lengths to get a good shot of my lymph nodes because that's where I feel the most "phantom" pain.

Then they did US on the left side. The doctor set that up strictly because of my worry. And I have to say I felt really stupid in there. They kept asking "well where do you feel pain? No pain? Then why are you here?" Finally I said I felt stupid and she said "oh no, don't". But I still did.

But it's clean! So, hooray.

I am going to cancel the PET scan. I had already decided that, but a comment a couple of entries below suggested getting the various tests 6 months apart. That way I am being checked every 6 months. I really like that idea, given the aggressive speed of the original tumor.

I am not really in any hurry for the other surgery. Sometime mid to late summer, I think. I should probably call for a consult to set it up. She thought maybe we could do the mastectomy and hysterectomy in the same surgery, but I never found out.

I know I can't go back in time, but I am really kicking myself for not pushing for the mastectomy at the time of the first. I say it wasn't offered to me - maybe I just don't remember. I decided I wanted it, but it was the weekend, and I was due to go in at 5:30 am on Monday. I didn't want to cause any trouble for anyone, so I didn't speak up for what I really wanted. I find that to be true in a lot of my life, and I aim to change it. Not that I want to be a pushy brat, but to know that I actually DO have the right to speak up and insist I am heard! I think pushing for these tests was a good start. I just need to get over the feeling stupid or guilty over it. Look out, world! It just might piss you off.

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