It's Always Something

I had to take last week off work again. My knee went out. It's bothered me off and on since I injured it shortly before my diagnosis, but I never felt I had to do anything about it. Suddenly, 2 weeks ago, it just "popped" and I was in intense pain. At the moment I was sitting with my feet up. Nothing more. I have no idea what caused it, but of course the first thing you think of is scary stuff. especially when there is no obvious reason. So I was trying pretty hard to not freak out.

Luckily the x-ray showed nothing. He said we could do an MRI but it had improved and as long as it gets better we won't have to. He said it's a tear in the cartilage and if it didn't get better may need surgery. Now it is almost completely back to "normal", meaning I can't kneel and I can't bend it fully or very fast, but it's as good as it has been the past couple of years.

Still no idea what could have caused it. I was out with my scout troop the weekend prior, walking a lot, but that was 2 days before it popped.

My treatment for this was to stay off it for a week, and a course of steroid pills. I didn't have any side effects from those until last night when I couldn't sleep. It seems the same is happening tonight, too. Flashbacks!! Not as bad as that time, but still. I probably got 2 hours of sleep last night and it isn't looking good so far, for tonight.

I wonder if the fear will ever go away- the fear that every little pain has something more sinister behind it.